THE MUNIZ EXPRESS
Or why you should stop everything and add Rodrigo Muniz to your team RIGHT NOW!
Don’t believe me? Here is why he is THE striker to own from the start and all other options are absolute WASTEMEN!
Rodrigo Muniz Carvalho was born in Brazil. Which instantly makes him cooler than any footballer who wasn’t unless their name is Richarlison. Or Antony. Or Jo.
Seriously does anybody remember fucking JO.
Where was I? This gets better. I promise. This article I mean. Not fucking Jo.
Last season he got 11 returns in 1,589 minutes, which is not bad considering he spent the first half of the campaign cleaning boots.
The reason I’m interested… why you should ALL be interested, is his performances in 2024. Especially the last 16 games when he was nailed, and started every one.
Let’s look at that range in closer detail. From GW23-38 he was:
- 2nd only to Haaland for total attempts, 15 MORE than anybody else
- 3rd for non-pen XG
- Top for shots in the box
- Top for headed chances
- 4th for goals
HE COSTS 6M AND PLAYS FOR A TEAM WHO FUCKING LOVE TO ATTACK
Let’s look at the fixtures
mun, LEI, ips, WHU, NEW, nfo
The guy starts against a team whose only fit defender is 52 year old Jonny Evans, with a keeper who just publicly announced he’s “going to take more risks this year”
He then plays two promoted teams. From the fucking Midlands.
Muniz is the son of a singer!
Which is fitting, because he will hit all the right notes if you put him in your FPL team.
He has been given the number 9 shirt, told he’s the main man and his favourite things are “God, Football and Fish” – just like Jesus
No, not that Jesus. He’s crap.
Don’t trust me? Trust Fulham fan @colmbugler who quips
“Muniz has gone from a 20-year-old who couldn’t speak a word of English to the pivotal player in the team. His work rate is second to none. He can hold the ball up when needed and has picked up that poachers instinct”
Don’t trust Colm? What about @lewisFFCJames who joined the lads over at @planetFPLPod to eulogise about him in the latest Fulham correspondence pod. On it he describes Muniz as “far and away the best 6m forward”
Here’s the full Pod that James made me link and calls him a “bit template”
Like a twat
It’s not just me interested in Muniz. Big clubs are starting to circle as they realise his untapped potential. Spurs wanted him before settling for Solanke. Chelsea have shown an interest in signing him. They don’t just buy fucking anyone you know.
https://www.givemesport.com/chelsea-have-discussed-move-for-fulham-star-muniz
So who is the competition for Muniz spot in your team?
He is the same price as Duran? Who… er… doesn’t start for Villa. Well done Fantasy Towers.
Wissa? More like Missa am I right.
Dominic Calvert-Lewin? A man with a shot conversion rate of 0.23%.
Chris Wood. Who is essentially just a euphemism.
Beneath him people are actually looking at Joao Pedro. A walking penalty taker who only has 75% of his limbs available on any given day.
And Adam Armstrong. Muniz scored more goals on my Free Hit than he did in an entire fucking season.
One every 750 minutes. That’s 12.5 hours. You can fly to Singapore in that time. Take note Antony.
Muniz is so fucking cool he even has his own family crest. His ancestral line traces back to the Romans and the absolute lad that was Lucius Mummius Achaicus. Who destroyed Corinth. Just like Muniz will destroy everybody he plays.
Have I ever let you down before?
Barnes. BOOM. Barnes again. BOOM. Adams. BOOM. Sort of, eventually. I’ve learnt from the mistakes of trusting Saints. Benrahma. BOOM BOOM. Joeli… Solanke. BOOM. Morris. BOOM.
Hell, he was so successful it convinced Andy Martin to play a FH in GW7.
bUt wHAt ABoUt dOm sOLanKe
Yes, okay former train himself Big Dom Solanke has now moved to Spurs and will lead their line for just 7.5m. But unless you’re going for a suicidal non-Haaland strategy, do you really want to spend 31m of your budget on strikers?
Your midfield will look like a fucking petting zoo.
MUNIZ IS THE LOGICAL CHOICE NO MATTER YOUR SET UP.
What about Andreas Pereira? Isn’t he on penalties? Is that the same Andreas Pereira who is leaving at the end of the year and being actively offered to clubs now? The same Andreas Pereira who they’ve just signed Smith-Rowe to play in his position.
Wake up. He’s off. WHO DO YOU THINK WILL STEP UP TO THE SPOT.
This is a Fulham side who have lost their DM and have set back up as a balls deep attacking unit from top to bottom. They have amazing fixtures, an established manager and a number 9 who is going to smash it out of the fucking station.
So join me. Trust me. Rise up against FPL Review who want you to pick thundertwats from Brighton or Saints.
Get to the fucking station, buy your ticket… AND ALL ABOARD THE MUNIZ EXPRESS
(seriously play your own game I don’t actually give a fuck)
Thanks to @fpldoodles1 for the below propaganda.
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