FPL Gameweek 12 of the Premier League is upon us, and everyone will be scrambling towards their Fantasy Football Team over the next few days to try and have the best week possible. The first match of the game features the early 12.30 pm Saturday kick-off between Wolves and Tottenham and finishes with Chelsea’s 4.30…
SHIT BUTTY Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey. To only pick XI from this plethora of pillocks is a job way above my station. At least once a season you normally see an FPL week this bad. But not this bad. Blackbox expert wanker AZ has 11 points. Eleven. That’s less than a point…
SHIT SHIT BANG BANG After a week off in the Maltese sun I return to this shower of acid piss. Let us waste no time, and dive in to see which 11 wastemen made the cut for excremental ineptitude this gameweek. MARTINEZ – 4.9 – ASTON VILLA This feels a harsh inclusion. But conceding a…
GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN Crash, bang, fucking hell what a shitshow. 8 weeks down and the only positive to this season so far is that it’s almost 25% of the way through. Let’s see which pillocks littered the gates of hell this Team of the weak. ONANA – 4.9 – MANCHESTER UNITED I’ve…
THE DEFENCE RESTS Literally. What the fuck were these useless clown ticklers doing. More minus points than a fucking maths convention. Let’s dive in and see who needs to be metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered this week. TEAM OF THE WEAK – GAMEWEEK 7. EDERSON – 5.6M – MANCHESTER CITY A welcome return to Ederson…
Tripe. Shite. Piss. Which reckless simpletons have made their way into the hallowed halls of excrement this weekend. Let us not stand around aimlessly like a Brentford back four without Ben Mee. Let’s dive in. FODERINGHAM – 4.5 – SHEFFIELD UNITED If a team physically cannot defend set pieces, you have to look at the…
After a long international break, club football and FPL will be back this Saturday. We have multiple dilemmas, decisions and even a captaincy debate in big 2023 to talk about on the first weekend deadline of the season. Along with new updates with what happened during the 2 week long period. Here’s all you need…
Which utterly useless pillocks of piss walked the plank this week in Gameweek 4. Let’s dive in, find out, and realise it’s a full 2 weeks until we have to go through this desperate dross of disappointment once more. ONANA – 5.0 – MANCHESTER UTD Rotating nicely with Pickford in this column, the new Utd…
Already so many brilliant moments in the first 3 gameweeks as we move towards the international break and transfer deadline day. Sterling, Gusto, and Maddison came good just as predicted in last week’s article, hopefully, the streak continues. Lots of things to discuss this week though, so let’s see how you can best attack gameweek…
Crash, bang, wallop… what a fucking shitshow. Let’s see which XI pillocks dropped the proverbial football this weekend. Well? Let’s dive the absolute hell in. ONANA – 5.0 – MANCHESTER UNITED It’s hard to blame a keeper when a player runs 70 yards without a tackle on goal. But also, simply lying on the floor…
