A seasonal banquet of bastardness. Join me in unwrapping this lump of coal, soaked in shit and fisted northward until you vomit it up. Let us dive in. Goggles on. SANCHEZ – 4.7 – CHELSEA Absolutely insistent on putting his defence under pressure again and again, RDZ literally sold this tosser because he couldn’t pass…
I apologize for not being able to write my Gameweek 15 article due to the extremely short turnaround time. However, there weren’t many players who could have made a big impact during that week. One of the most popular moves were Turner to Dubravka or Turner to Kelleher. If you followed my advice from my…
I’m going to be up front and honest with you all right from the start. Darwin Nunez is in here. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Will the FPL Community ever learn? Or will it continue to be led down the garden path by the Pied Pipers of Analytics FC?…
Unlucky for some. Especially if you bought Eze, captained him, and made him the subject of a £100 bet to get some fucking Hufflepuff to follow you. Which XI players of crystallised anal essence made the hallowed halls this week. Let’s get this over with. SANCHEZ – 4.6 – CHELSEA I still don’t quite know…
SHITIZEN KANE Who littered the streets of filth this week? Let’s dive in and find out before we have to endure a Biscuit World Cup on Twitter FPL. JOHNSTONE – 4.6 – CRYSTAL PALACE 1 save in a 3-goal home loss to Everton is basically the footballing equivalent of a Darwin award. That’s Charles Darwin…
Join us as we look back on the FPL year so far with an eye on two key GWs that offered differing emotions for players.
FPL Gameweek 12 of the Premier League is upon us, and everyone will be scrambling towards their Fantasy Football Team over the next few days to try and have the best week possible. The first match of the game features the early 12.30 pm Saturday kick-off between Wolves and Tottenham and finishes with Chelsea’s 4.30…
SHIT BUTTY Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey. To only pick XI from this plethora of pillocks is a job way above my station. At least once a season you normally see an FPL week this bad. But not this bad. Blackbox expert wanker AZ has 11 points. Eleven. That’s less than a point…
SHIT SHIT BANG BANG After a week off in the Maltese sun I return to this shower of acid piss. Let us waste no time, and dive in to see which 11 wastemen made the cut for excremental ineptitude this gameweek. MARTINEZ – 4.9 – ASTON VILLA This feels a harsh inclusion. But conceding a…
GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN Crash, bang, fucking hell what a shitshow. 8 weeks down and the only positive to this season so far is that it’s almost 25% of the way through. Let’s see which pillocks littered the gates of hell this Team of the weak. ONANA – 4.9 – MANCHESTER UNITED I’ve…
