Quitting is for fucking losers. And lord knows, I’m a loser. But I’ve picked myself back up, hosed the shit and vomit off my clothes, and am ready to go again. Let’s dive in. It’s Team of the Weak time yet again. MARTINEZ – 5.0 – AVL A first half of unique incompetence saw Martinez…
Another week of blood boiling, piss stained, volcanic horseshit as leprechaun shagging variance milkers dance in a meadow of 4 leaf clovers, whilst I’m sat looking for points like Marky fucking Mark. Let us dive in. It’s Team of the Weak time. MCCARTHY – 4.3 – SOUTHAMPTON McCarthy managed to make 8 saves and still…
It’s GW12, the final international break for months is almost fucking over. Every twat and his dog is now on Bluesky. But who have been the worst 11 players to own so far? Let’s dive in. It’s the Team of the Weak so far. AREOLA – 4.3 – WEST HAM UTD Amassing just 15 points…
Every week, we roll up, strip naked and wait for the lashes to begin. How much longer do we have to endure this mental and physical torture? Let’s dive in and find the hell out. It’s the FPL Team of the Weak. SA – 4.3 – WOLVES A keeper so bad that the club bought…
Missing players, failing players, ghost assists, cartels, hoods, gangsters, own goals, red cards and strikers who couldn’t hit a urinal from 2 feet. Just a regular fucking gameweek then. FPL is back and it’s madder than ever. Let’s dive in. AREOLA – 4.5 – WEST HAM UTD From 1-1 to 4-1 in the blink of…
Another week done and dusted as we’re fisted into the stratosphere of shit that is the international break. Let’s see which calamitous cockstains made their way into these hallowed halls this week. Yup, it’s Team of the Weak time. Let’s dive in. EDERSON – 5.5 – MANCHESTER CITY Owning Ederson at this stage is a…
It would honestly just be quicker to copy and paste my entire fucking team. But let’s try and do this properly. Jesus Christ what a week. RAYA – 5.6 – ARSENAL With his “injury” dominating the twittersphere in the run up to the game, it was almost inevitable that Raya would tip up, do fuck…
A weak of almost molten excrement, culminating in a Sunday where my personal team wasn’t so much shat on, but violently assaulted in a back alley and left for dead. Let’s do this. It’s the latest Team of the Weak. JOHNSTONE – 4.4 – WOLVES Not a single save in a 3-goal loss. Essentially turning…
Let us bow our heads in collective shame and pick the bones out from the meal we just vomited back up. What a terrible gameweek, what a terrible set of players. Let us dive in. HENDERSON – 4.5 – CRYSTAL PALACE Yet to keep a clean sheet, the popular Palace stopper has thus far looked…
Southampton held three to Manchester United, and HinduMonkey has you covered with the player ratings from St. Mary’s, in all his glorious vocab.
